Skip to main content

Missing

Do you ever feel completely lost? I feel as though the world is hold out my letter of rejection but, here I am trying to fight my way back in. I feel truly lost, I feel lost about my future, about my relationship, and the rest of my life. I'm finishing my second year of college, and we're suppose to have our life figured out and here I am standing in the midst waiting for an an answer. Sometimes the universe needs to give you a sign to tell you what to do. Even the purest form of happiness can be lost in the midst of the world. I'm preparing to start my life over again, by leaving for London in the fall and to be honest I hope its everything I expect, and everything I don't.

I feel lost, lost in love. I question being with him forever. Will it truly bring me happiness after the roses have fallen? I wonder why I can't stop thinking about whether we're perfect. It's as though something is missing from my life. Something is making me feel empty. I just don't know why. I feel lost in the future we have together. I feel lost as the diploma is handed to me. The question that rings in my head is, what now? What do I do with the rest of my life? Where do I go? I wonder why everything that I once felt sure of is now disappearing before my eyes. I hope for clarity but, no relief. I wonder why I question all the beliefs I once held true. Being next to you doesn't feel the same anymore. I can't tell you what's missing because I don't know. I hope I can tell you soon....

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...

Love

The last week has been crazy busy , I have been in tutoring all week . Some spring break. All I can think of is love. Love makes people do some pretty crazy things. I wish there was a tracker to find true love because today it's harder and harder to find. If I could ever describe love I would say it is the most exhilarating feeling of all. The first time you look at them you know it's meant to be, that moment when your eyes meet and you know you wouldn't trade that feeling for anything else in the world. Love should be when you look at that person it feels like the first time you kissed, the first time you fell in love. I am a good matchmaker however have yet to find love myself. For now I'm stuck reading romantic books and watching the 'Notebook' fifty thousand times. Being in love is amazing and I haven't been in love yet so I can exactly explain it! My aunt was right infatuation has been in my life, leaving me with good and bad memories. However when I ...

Accepted

College. The words that determine the rest of your life. The words that run across your mind once you graduate high school. The words that make you think of parties and four more years of exams. However, this is the chance when you get to choose how you spend your days, what you learn right? At least that's the look I see on many freshman when they come to college, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed jumping at the opportunity to take a reign on their lives or you have those who are excited for the four years of partying that comes ahead, and finally you have those students who come in trailing behind their parent waiting for the tour to be over usually listening to music. These three type of students however, all fall into the same muddling and confusing first year of college, where all three take the same meaningless courses and after the year is over worry about what is next. This is the point where the education system comes in and molds you. In college, the choice is everything. ...