Skip to main content

Missing

Do you ever feel completely lost? I feel as though the world is hold out my letter of rejection but, here I am trying to fight my way back in. I feel truly lost, I feel lost about my future, about my relationship, and the rest of my life. I'm finishing my second year of college, and we're suppose to have our life figured out and here I am standing in the midst waiting for an an answer. Sometimes the universe needs to give you a sign to tell you what to do. Even the purest form of happiness can be lost in the midst of the world. I'm preparing to start my life over again, by leaving for London in the fall and to be honest I hope its everything I expect, and everything I don't.

 I feel lost, lost in love. I question being with him forever. Will it truly bring me happiness after the roses have fallen? I wonder why I can't stop thinking about whether we're perfect. It's as though something is missing from my life. Something is making me feel empty. I just don't know why. I feel lost in the future we have together. I feel lost as the diploma is handed to me. The question that rings in my head is, what now? What do I do with the rest of my life? Where do I go? I wonder why everything that I once felt sure of is now disappearing before my eyes. I hope for clarity but, no relief. I wonder why I question all the beliefs I once held true. Being next to you doesn't feel the same anymore. I can't tell you what's missing because I don't know. I hope I can tell you soon....

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...
Post a Comment
Read more

Accepted

College. The words that determine the rest of your life. The words that run across your mind once you graduate high school. The words that make you think of parties and four more years of exams. However, this is the chance when you get to choose how you spend your days, what you learn right? At least that's the look I see on many freshman when they come to college, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed jumping at the opportunity to take a reign on their lives or you have those who are excited for the four years of partying that comes ahead, and finally you have those students who come in trailing behind their parent waiting for the tour to be over usually listening to music. These three type of students however, all fall into the same muddling and confusing first year of college, where all three take the same meaningless courses and after the year is over worry about what is next. This is the point where the education system comes in and molds you. In college, the choice is everything. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bound With Invisible Chains

Well, its early on a Tuesday I came into work early due to the absence of my coworker so here I am. Its such a peaceful morning so far, I can hear the coffee maker from the kitchen and silence. Its a relatively nice feeling, rather than the phone constantly shrilling, demanding immediate attention. Even my mother hasn't gotten to work yet, which is simply bizarre considering her job is her life. So, I'm sitting at the front desk typing away on my laptop and making coffee for my mother. She just walked in wondering where I was for most of the time, which it actually took me a half an hour to drive to work and I stopped along the way at a recreation center, just sitting in the field. It was so peaceful, now the office is starting to get a bit fussy as most type furiously across their keyboards and the morning coffee is quickly taken as, a crutch, for most tired employees. Some have not even stepped foot in the office, but rather chose an extra hour of sleep. Its going to be a lon...
2 comments
Read more