Skip to main content

Accepted

College. The words that determine the rest of your life. The words that run across your mind once you graduate high school. The words that make you think of parties and four more years of exams. However, this is the chance when you get to choose how you spend your days, what you learn right? At least that's the look I see on many freshman when they come to college, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed jumping at the opportunity to take a reign on their lives or you have those who are excited for the four years of partying that comes ahead, and finally you have those students who come in trailing behind their parent waiting for the tour to be over usually listening to music. These three type of students however, all fall into the same muddling and confusing first year of college, where all three take the same meaningless courses and after the year is over worry about what is next. This is the point where the education system comes in and molds you. In college, the choice is everything. The choice to be an artist or a poet and a law student or a doctor. It's a wide spectrum and while the choice might seem clear at first, the real sense of truth becomes much more confusing. Do you choose a doctor because that's what your father does or do you choose painter because you've been painting since you were a child. The college life pushes you towards becoming a doctor, because this is the more practical choice. This is the choice that will earn you a decent salary and will help you lead a family one day. But, fast forward to thirty years later, you begin to question and blame yourself and your parents for becoming a doctor in the first place. But, it is not the student, it is the system. The system whispers that your dream is unrealistic and encourages you to move toward a safe career path. When I started I knew I had to make a choice, and quite honestly I knew what I wanted to do, become a writer. I wanted to become the next J.K. Rowling, sitting at my desk happily tapping away at the keys. As a child I told my relatives about the books I would write and they found themselves smiling at a child's imagination. Fast forward to when it comes time to pick a major, the system and my parents encouraged me to do something more "practical" but, the truth is I feel as though the creativity is being sucked out of me. As I sit in front of the computer screen writing paper after paper about Plato and Shakespeare. I wondered where all the fun in it went. I wonder what happened to the joy of typing the perfect words in a book? What happened to all the glorious and wonderful imagination that freely use to flow right to my fingertips? Even, now I feel self-conscious wearing a dress that makes me stand out in the crowd.



.....I always thought standing out was a good thing.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...

The Freedom-less

Dreaming of Freedom      Well, here I am in physics class wanting to do nothing more than write, type all the thoughts that flow through my spirit and spill them on to these pages. Reveal all the secrets that I keep hidden in my heart. Well, my mother discovered that Tyler and I made love and is punishing me because of it. Forcing us to be unable to see each other, pay for tutoring, and be constantly tracked. I feel like I'm a deer trying to run from the hunter. And as the days go by I feel as though I'm slowly loosing my mind, I'm on complete lock down where the only things I can do are go to doctor's offices, work, school, and home. Its completely torturous, to the point where I've almost given up all hope completely and we almost broke up. But, through it all I know that even though the situation is difficult I will be twenty times as miserable if we weren't together. My mother has decided that I'm unfit to live life, because I love someone everything...

Finding Myself

So, my grandmother was right that I'd have an epiphany in the middle of the night. I just can't will myself to sleep so here I sit on my laptop typing away at one in the morning. It actually clears my head, allowing me to say everything that has been running through my mind. One of my exs this week proclaimed he still had feelings for me however, when I denied any type of physical relationship he seemed upset, but I knew better.... or did I? When his lips touched mine its as if the whole world seemed to disappear and all the things that he said disappeared and I entered a whole new world entirely. So, as my mind begins to flood with what to do with the situation the next morning all my questions come to a halt he sends me a text message starting out by saying he's sorry but, he can't be with me because I am, "an enemy to most of the school". I respond simply by stating, "good." Which I meant to the fullest extent it helps me weed out the people who a...