Less than perfect

Today was an adventure lately I've been seeming to have more and more of those, which is what life is all about the adventure. I am dating a guy I truly like and so far everything has been pretty good, I just can't explain how I feel around him. Everything about him is different he's so gentle to my fragile heart and helps me heal it, after this whole year of dating around I think it was worth it. The only thing I wish is that I could take away the pain of those I hurt. The way this guy kisses me it's enough to keep me silent for hours (and if you know me I don't shut up, ever). However I'm still have problems with my best friend she's dating this guy I don't trust because of rumors I hear about him and how my best friend can't have a life and talk to her friends but he can. I feel like this guy is controlling her because the two are joined at the hip! I mean I don't know how to approach her anymore I mean we talk but I still feel like were distances apart. I just miss her being my best friend and she tells me all these excuses but they never solve any of the real questions in my mind. I just want to answer those questions running through my mind, I sometimes wonder though if life is all a delusion.

Comments

My 100th post!

First, off I just wanna say thanks for all the people who read and listen to the struggles in my life. Second, I'm in complete shock that this is my 100th post! So, thanks for being there for me for four years! Anyway, to get this post going, I wanna just write.... it probably won't make a lot of sense when I finish but it'll be different, to say the least. So, Kataya goes back to Ukraine on Saturday and at this point I am pretty upset that she's leaving, she's become a little sister to me, and her smile could light up the whole world. However, in a malicious and selfish way I am kind of happy because for the last month my mom was too busy with Kataya to really notice me, strange how you want your parents to ignore you and when they do you want them to talk to you? Also the directors of the orphanage came to stay with us and to say the least their not my favorite people, but the leave tomorrow for New York City and I finally get my room back! But, its going to t...

Feels like you're dying

This week has been awful everyone keeps breaking me down everything in my life goes wrong. I can't do anything right I've been banged up right and left and I have lost the battle. Trying to pretend everything is okay in my life when my heart is cut open and smashed to pieces. I am not doing well in science at all I mean I'm trying so hard not break down but I do a repeating failure everything hasn't been going well for me. I mean I'm in love with one of my guy friends like it's bad because I just can't get over him and my best friend just hasn't been able to talk to me and now I grow cold because of all this stress I feel hopelessly trapped and if my life isn't traumatic enough my mother is suing my dad for failure to pay the child support and now I wonder why can't I be a normal teenager no I have to be special as well. Also what made this weekend just great is that my best friend gave me a total panic attack because she could become just like...

Life Goes On

Lately, I've been wrapped in trivial things and have honestly really not had anything that eventful happen. Which to me is rare. Honestly the week just started so, I'm probably jinxing myself; but, it has been nice to no longer deal with friend drama. The only drama around here is how annoying Mr. X is, I swear he is the king of complaining especially lately its gotten to a point where it just irritates the heck out of me. But, other than that its been pretty quiet, ever since Jose left its been pretty silent, which isn't all bad my heart is recovering, of course the wound is deep but if I let other people control me then I'll fall to pieces. I know life will go on, it always has, my phone has been pretty quiet too; not many people are around everybody's just doing their own thing, which strangely doesn't bother me. I've just been minding my own business, just going to work and listening to music which has really been most of my summer. Well, I did see a Cob...

Believe In Time

Search This Blog