Lonely, Insecure, Invisible

These last few days I swear have been the worst in my life everything has seemed to go wrong. My fairytale boyfriend broke up with me, my best friend has everything I ever wanted, the boy who wants nothing to do with me I'm obsessed with, and I think everything in this life I want is out of my reach. At least I got to experience the joy before the downfall and pain, I think I'm better off sticking to my quiet book-nerdish self. But why? Why always me? I wish for once I could stop being me, for one day maybe I'd understand everything. The only good thing that happened in my life these last couple days was that I have the chance to escape to Costa Rica for surfing lessons. My best friend Maria is so lucky everything in her life is always perfect, the boyfriend who loves her, perfect grades, with adoring friends crowding around her like paparazzi, what do I have nothing. It hurts more than I can bare a shell of a human being, the hurt and pain bottling up in my brain, lying to myself that everything is okay. What else am I to do? My friends that I once cared for left, my family doesn't notice me how can I bare the pain? Being the dumb kid of the family isn't exactly the thing you want to brag about, having a spoiled little brother nothing is ever fair. Why can't life ever go my way for more than one month? Maybe it's better if I just become a loner, maybe the pain would feel better I could just become empty.

Liki

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