Twists and Turns in Life

My friend is sitting next to me and it feel like Rhianna's king bed song, I wonder if this is reality how I wish I didn't have to hide, but they don't understand me. Not surprising. They think, I completely dimwitted or something, but if they really knew the truth, I don't even think I an bare it myself. Its my own small world the one that exists inside my head and heart are far from the same, so many thoughts whirling in both of them, my heart a completely free spirit in search of love and my head filled with rational thoughts, anger, disappointment, and pain. From all those who have left their mark, my father, past friends, my mother, family, and guys. I seems like I'm not really here, like I'm in a truly cruel world, with every spark of hope disappearing. I wonder where God is in all this,I feel like He disappeared. I really just wish people wouldn't tell me what to feel, "I am able to talk, stop talking like I'm not here!" I wish I could be in my own escape where I was free to be myself. I'm sure my friend truly thinks I'm cruel, which I couldn't blame her for; I mean what friend writes about you while your sitting next to them? I just couldn't take the hurt anymore, it boils inside of me, the anger that I will always be second rate to my friends always hurts. I wonder if they ever will find my weaknesses, my hopes, my goals, passions, and so on. However, I am so many people tied into one, so I might be hard to figure out. Not so hard though, I wish there was a sign of what I'm suppose to do. However even though life looks hard, I won't raise my white flag. I will hold my own, be me even if it gets hard, nobody ever said life would be easy. I just hope that life will fall in time with me. Remember look down to no one, hold your own! Life has crazy twists and turns but it will be worth it in the end.

Comments

Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...

Love

The last week has been crazy busy , I have been in tutoring all week . Some spring break. All I can think of is love. Love makes people do some pretty crazy things. I wish there was a tracker to find true love because today it's harder and harder to find. If I could ever describe love I would say it is the most exhilarating feeling of all. The first time you look at them you know it's meant to be, that moment when your eyes meet and you know you wouldn't trade that feeling for anything else in the world. Love should be when you look at that person it feels like the first time you kissed, the first time you fell in love. I am a good matchmaker however have yet to find love myself. For now I'm stuck reading romantic books and watching the 'Notebook' fifty thousand times. Being in love is amazing and I haven't been in love yet so I can exactly explain it! My aunt was right infatuation has been in my life, leaving me with good and bad memories. However when I ...

Accepted

College. The words that determine the rest of your life. The words that run across your mind once you graduate high school. The words that make you think of parties and four more years of exams. However, this is the chance when you get to choose how you spend your days, what you learn right? At least that's the look I see on many freshman when they come to college, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed jumping at the opportunity to take a reign on their lives or you have those who are excited for the four years of partying that comes ahead, and finally you have those students who come in trailing behind their parent waiting for the tour to be over usually listening to music. These three type of students however, all fall into the same muddling and confusing first year of college, where all three take the same meaningless courses and after the year is over worry about what is next. This is the point where the education system comes in and molds you. In college, the choice is everything. ...

Believe In Time

Search This Blog