I wish I could explain why I feel the way I do, explain it to everyone else around me and they'd understand. I saw Kelley Slater, famous surfer, at the Long Beach competition and I still feel completely depressed. I feel as though all of my ambition has been drained, I feel as though I can't do anything. I feel all alone in this world, it feels completely foreign. As though I'm living another girl's life not my own. Liberation cannot find me because I am deep in the depths of my own emotion. I just feel hopeless at this point, I see everyone else around me shine even in a sour attitude and I am the lost girl. I feel myself becoming a ghost in my own life, detaching myself from everything, as though I watch the life of everyone else. I feel like I'm in a twisted dream caught in between the sands of time, watching air slip through my fingers like memories. I want to be this great person that can do so much, however my problem stands I'm not that person. I am me, the girl filled with so many imperfections all the pretty girls will feel ten times better. The past feels like a weight on my heavy shoulders never really going to leave. I wish I could fix the past or change it, do something to keep the empty hole inside me from growing larger.
Well, its early on a Tuesday I came into work early due to the absence of my coworker so here I am. Its such a peaceful morning so far, I can hear the coffee maker from the kitchen and silence. Its a relatively nice feeling, rather than the phone constantly shrilling, demanding immediate attention. Even my mother hasn't gotten to work yet, which is simply bizarre considering her job is her life. So, I'm sitting at the front desk typing away on my laptop and making coffee for my mother. She just walked in wondering where I was for most of the time, which it actually took me a half an hour to drive to work and I stopped along the way at a recreation center, just sitting in the field. It was so peaceful, now the office is starting to get a bit fussy as most type furiously across their keyboards and the morning coffee is quickly taken as, a crutch, for most tired employees. Some have not even stepped foot in the office, but rather chose an extra hour of sleep. Its going to be a lon...
Comments
Post a Comment