Skip to main content

Magic

      Well, another gloomy day consumes me. So, if you believe that everything hasn't gotten worse, it has. We got into a bit of trouble, but I'm not going to say more than that and now they have blocked me from even calling him on my phone, thank god for Skype! So we've been messaging through facebook and talking through Skype but, its still not the same as being able to call him without internet connection or just when I wake up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare. My life is simply becoming so boring and so empty I cannot even explain it in the words I type. I mean there's nothing I really want to do other than hide away in my room and not talk to anyone at all. They say they're trying to protect me, I don't believe it. I don't feel like I'm being "protected" I feel more like I'm being punished, punished for living and breathing. All I want to do is talk to him and be able to cuddle in his arms without a care in the world. I know I may be young to find love, to be in love, if that but you know when its real, that I believe. Honestly to me you can fall in love at any age it doesn't matter how old you are, you can fall in love when your young or old. But that feeling that you get when you look into their eyes is unlike any other, you will never feel that again because love is the closet thing we have to magic. And when I look into his eyes it is truly magical, my entire spirit uplifts and a smile automatically appears on my face and I'm happy to talk to him and be with him. But, I'm going to type out more later, I'm a bit tired.

Liki

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My 100th post!

First, off I just wanna say thanks for all the people who read and listen to the struggles in my life. Second, I'm in complete shock that this is my 100th post! So, thanks for being there for me for four years! Anyway, to get this post going, I wanna just write.... it probably won't make a lot of sense when I finish but it'll be different, to say the least. So, Kataya goes back to Ukraine on Saturday and at this point I am pretty upset that she's leaving, she's become a little sister to me, and her smile could light up the whole world. However, in a malicious and selfish way I am kind of happy because for the last month my mom was too busy with Kataya to really notice me, strange how you want your parents to ignore you and when they do you want them to talk to you? Also the directors of the orphanage came to stay with us and to say the least their not my favorite people, but the leave tomorrow for New York City and I finally get my room back! But, its going to t...

Feels like you're dying

This week has been awful everyone keeps breaking me down everything in my life goes wrong. I can't do anything right I've been banged up right and left and I have lost the battle. Trying to pretend everything is okay in my life when my heart is cut open and smashed to pieces. I am not doing well in science at all I mean I'm trying so hard not break down but I do a repeating failure everything hasn't been going well for me. I mean I'm in love with one of my guy friends like it's bad because I just can't get over him and my best friend just hasn't been able to talk to me and now I grow cold because of all this stress I feel hopelessly trapped and if my life isn't traumatic enough my mother is suing my dad for failure to pay the child support and now I wonder why can't I be a normal teenager no I have to be special as well. Also what made this weekend just great is that my best friend gave me a total panic attack because she could become just like...

Life Goes On

Lately, I've been wrapped in trivial things and have honestly really not had anything that eventful happen. Which to me is rare. Honestly the week just started so, I'm probably jinxing myself; but, it has been nice to no longer deal with friend drama. The only drama around here is how annoying Mr. X is, I swear he is the king of complaining especially lately its gotten to a point where it just irritates the heck out of me. But, other than that its been pretty quiet, ever since Jose left its been pretty silent, which isn't all bad my heart is recovering, of course the wound is deep but if I let other people control me then I'll fall to pieces. I know life will go on, it always has, my phone has been pretty quiet too; not many people are around everybody's just doing their own thing, which strangely doesn't bother me. I've just been minding my own business, just going to work and listening to music which has really been most of my summer. Well, I did see a Cob...