What Will Become of Us?

Tonight I want to talk about something that everyone knows but, no one truly ever says. What it is like to have people who don't understand you and punish you for being yourself. (Warning: this will be a bit rant-like). My "parents", if you could even call them that, have been punishing me for being myself for years. Even, after ten years I know there is no winning- when I speak I am in trouble and when I am silent I am in trouble. At the age of being close to adulthood this vexes me because as I get older the punishment only gets worse. There is just the point when you want to stop trying because it will never be good enough for anyone. But, then you step back and wonder why do you have to please everyone? What will they ever do for you? Sometimes I just want to scream out to the world that I don't want to be a follower, I want the chance to be creative and to make something of myself in my own fashion. It won't be perfect, it will be messy but, at least the opportunity is there. To keep myself away from the dream of being just like everyone else. To be able to survive in a house like mine, you have to be perfect. You can never have the chance to enjoy being young and doing things that are not always smart. But, I feel as though because of how the expectations are so high I am deprived of being able to take risks and do things that are just apart of growing up. So what becomes of me? What becomes of all kids who have parents who raise them on a strict path where there are no other directions except for straight? Where are the twists and turns that make life into the adventure we all crave? The ones who believe we are ready to be leaders when in reality we are too afraid to stand up to the mic. When I look at movies and television all I see are people who are unafraid to be themselves, while I am waiting for the chance to even have a voice. As I get older the rules get stricter, the standards become higher and the connection to the outside world becomes abysmal. As an adult I question how my life will be in the future and how my life will turn out to be. Well, that's all I have for now, but I'll be back soon. I promise. 

Liki