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Darkness

Lately, it seems like I have fallen out of paradise and into a new world, one I'm not completely sure I like. It seems as though I've fallen hard for the wrong man. Is it true that you can go so far down a path, and want to run back as quickly as possible, but still there your heart is hold out hope? My mind and my heart seem to be holding on to something that seems like it no longer exists. Should I stay second place, just to stay on your mind? Your only concerned with the right now, not what could be. After 2 years should I say goodbye and let go of the hope that I had for us? And yet here I look at my phone waiting for you to call. The feeling that I had for us, seems to fade when your gone, when all we do is prepare for battle, but when we're together, I feel vulnerable and those precious moments make all the difference. I feel the winter chill of our long lost love surround me. It chills me to the core, and yet there is still a small center of warmth radiating from my heart, the smallest heart beats radiate throughout my sky, making the cloudy skies just a little less grey. My heart refuses to give up, but is there a moment to let go of that hope and love and longing. The feelings of my once vibrant love radiate and pulse against my fevered heart. My heart longs for something that breaks it down, something that crushes it in. You were once my beacon of hope in a barren land, my lifeboat on my deserted island. I wish you could see what we once were, how we were the people I never thought existed, the couple that seems to have the envious gift of endless love. But, you will never understand how my love was still there when you broke me down and I'd cry alone. How can I say goodbye when there is still a glimmer of hope, in my forsaken heart? I remember when I was your future, and you were mine, where the world could end. I gave you all I had, every piece of me, everything I could and still here we stand against each other. You know just what to say to keep my heart beating, while I'm barely breathing. And I question do I want to let go, am I going to forever going to stand alone? You are you the right one, you just don't see me? I feel invisible, do you just call me when you feel lonely? When you need someone when it gets dark? Do you even see me? I fall last on your list, everything is falling out of place, you make me feel so ashamed. So ashamed of all that we've been. You've never been sorry. You've never known what your knocked apart. I've fallen to the ground, begging for the pain to end. You tear my heart apart, leaving the pieces to fall in your wake, Your "I love you" seems to be filled with poison. I am held to you with the small hope that love will prevail, that the pain will fall numb. I am filled with the memories, that made me happier than the world was bright. I'm addicted to our love, when we fell in love the world seemed beautiful and perfect for just those few moments. The world fell together, we were two lost souls who rejoiced in a world we created together. Our smiles never seemed more beautiful. But soon the darkness came in and our world came crumbling in. Will we be something, I once know. My memory fades as the darkness falls in.

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