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Next Time...

I still cannot believe that the last time that I posted on here it was 2017. Two years have passed and sometimes I can't believe where my life is now. A Manhattan girl just looking for the next big break. Hoping one day I can shine, living out every typical moment of a 20-something year old's life. Sometimes, I can't believe where I am- where did it all go? Somehow, I thought college would last forever. It seems like only yesterday I was just finding my way through all of it. Just yesterday I was studying away in London thinking about what graduation would be like. And now it's been a year since graduation and I'm out trying to figure out my next move. One thing, I wish they would have told me- is that it's a lot harder than trying to study for those exams or trying to get that cute guy to look back your way. Sometimes, I still feel like I'm seventeen on the inside, as if I never truly grew up I just got older. I think that saying about being as old as you feel is true. When you still feel like a shy teenager on the inside, aren't you the same on the outside? But, the whole game is different- I still swear sometimes I feel totally ridiculous and out of place trying to fit into a corporate setting. It feels like when you were young and you raided your mom's closet to try on all of her outfits. You come out with a boa and high heels that are way too big for your small feet- it feels almost exactly like that. Now, that everything has become more complicated I wonder where I'll end up. Sometimes, I wonder if you had a map and could see exactly where you would end up in life- would you look at it? Would I? If you could know every moment of your life- would they be heartbreaking? Would they be beautiful? Would you get everything you ever dreamed of? Would you fall in love?

Would you know everything you ever wanted? Or would you try to race against the clock to change your fate?

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