Skip to main content

I know who I am


Today I am happy but, the adrenaline is running thin. Lately the kid I like has been avoiding me and rejecting me now, I don't know what to do. However, I have Chris, a new guy friend I have now I'm starting to wonder have I have I fallen all over again? Oh no. It's been raining for the last few days so my eating habits have been getting bad. I need to go out, badly. However the question is how bad do I want Walter's friendship is enough to fight for it? Or is it the time we went or separate ways? The choice breaks me apart everytime. But what I have learned I may not know how to do everything right but, I know how to be me and that the best gift anyone could have given me. Love, Ella

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My 100th post!

First, off I just wanna say thanks for all the people who read and listen to the struggles in my life. Second, I'm in complete shock that this is my 100th post! So, thanks for being there for me for four years! Anyway, to get this post going, I wanna just write.... it probably won't make a lot of sense when I finish but it'll be different, to say the least. So, Kataya goes back to Ukraine on Saturday and at this point I am pretty upset that she's leaving, she's become a little sister to me, and her smile could light up the whole world. However, in a malicious and selfish way I am kind of happy because for the last month my mom was too busy with Kataya to really notice me, strange how you want your parents to ignore you and when they do you want them to talk to you? Also the directors of the orphanage came to stay with us and to say the least their not my favorite people, but the leave tomorrow for New York City and I finally get my room back! But, its going to t...
2 comments
Read more

Feels like you're dying

This week has been awful everyone keeps breaking me down everything in my life goes wrong. I can't do anything right I've been banged up right and left and I have lost the battle. Trying to pretend everything is okay in my life when my heart is cut open and smashed to pieces. I am not doing well in science at all I mean I'm trying so hard not break down but I do a repeating failure everything hasn't been going well for me. I mean I'm in love with one of my guy friends like it's bad because I just can't get over him and my best friend just hasn't been able to talk to me and now I grow cold because of all this stress I feel hopelessly trapped and if my life isn't traumatic enough my mother is suing my dad for failure to pay the child support and now I wonder why can't I be a normal teenager no I have to be special as well. Also what made this weekend just great is that my best friend gave me a total panic attack because she could become just like...
2 comments
Read more

Life Goes On

Lately, I've been wrapped in trivial things and have honestly really not had anything that eventful happen. Which to me is rare. Honestly the week just started so, I'm probably jinxing myself; but, it has been nice to no longer deal with friend drama. The only drama around here is how annoying Mr. X is, I swear he is the king of complaining especially lately its gotten to a point where it just irritates the heck out of me. But, other than that its been pretty quiet, ever since Jose left its been pretty silent, which isn't all bad my heart is recovering, of course the wound is deep but if I let other people control me then I'll fall to pieces. I know life will go on, it always has, my phone has been pretty quiet too; not many people are around everybody's just doing their own thing, which strangely doesn't bother me. I've just been minding my own business, just going to work and listening to music which has really been most of my summer. Well, I did see a Cob...
1 comment
Read more