When Did Life Stop Making Sense?

I know its been forever since I've been on or have written anything at all. Honestly this year has been driving me insane with all the madness. I still can't even believe that junior year is nearly over and I think I'm going to die. I take the SAT again on Saturday and I'm nervous as hell, one test defines who I am and will be, its insane! My love life, forget about it, its to complicated to explain. Honestly I know I'm making all the wrong choices yet, do so anyway. I guess its not my brightest ideas, but why do the wrong choices all feel so right? Why do all the wrong things in life seem like the more obvious choice? It seems as though the world is spinning its never going to end, is it? Everywhere I go all the voices bang against my head, making me want to just scream for it all to stop. All the pressure feels like a tower waiting to collapse, it feels as though a ton of bricks will fall right on top of me, crushing me underneath it all. Why can't I be like everyone else, just be a normal kid who screws up twenty trillion times and then fixes their mistakes not be held as god. I'm going to say things that I shouldn't, I'm going to laugh so hard I will cry, I'm gonna kiss the people I want, and I'm probably going to have as much regrets as anyone else. But, there is something inside of me that dies for the truth, for life to slow down. For life to pause. For it all to stop moving, days where I could just explore not always have to be somewhere or to be with someone. Days where the mountains are all I can see. Days where life just fades away. I feel bad for not being able to write more, but I'm completely exhausted so I bid you farewell.

~Liki

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