Skip to main content

College of the Silent


So, the story of my life lately is not a very happy one. I'm in college now, a year earlier, I know I should be happy to be accepted. But, the truth is I couldn't be more miserable I've started to realize that home truly is where the heart is. I left school only to find that I miss it, I miss the pointless drama and the people who surrounded me, I miss the people who have broke down my wall. I've found college to be nothing but empty time and energy, unknown faces and hollow spaces. Right now the rain is pouring down onto the pavements it feels like the tears that run down my cheeks. Phone calls, skype, letters it doesn't make the difference any less. Its still another run down a path except your all alone. College can be filled with thousands of people but, the only difference is that everyone's following their own path, another world of their own. I wish a smiling face would cross my path rather than the twisters that surrond it, its as if I accidentally discovered the truth, that college is truly another world where teachers preach to us and tell us we're not in high school anymore. But, the truth is that high school was the land of cliques and friends but, it makes me question why I wanted to leave so badly. College is like survival of the fittest to see who can make it through alone changing the memories of the past to fit the present. Its like all the time you spend wanting to speak and change the world but, nothing comes it all fills the silence. Or rather, creates it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...

Accepted

College. The words that determine the rest of your life. The words that run across your mind once you graduate high school. The words that make you think of parties and four more years of exams. However, this is the chance when you get to choose how you spend your days, what you learn right? At least that's the look I see on many freshman when they come to college, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed jumping at the opportunity to take a reign on their lives or you have those who are excited for the four years of partying that comes ahead, and finally you have those students who come in trailing behind their parent waiting for the tour to be over usually listening to music. These three type of students however, all fall into the same muddling and confusing first year of college, where all three take the same meaningless courses and after the year is over worry about what is next. This is the point where the education system comes in and molds you. In college, the choice is everything. ...

The Freedom-less

Dreaming of Freedom      Well, here I am in physics class wanting to do nothing more than write, type all the thoughts that flow through my spirit and spill them on to these pages. Reveal all the secrets that I keep hidden in my heart. Well, my mother discovered that Tyler and I made love and is punishing me because of it. Forcing us to be unable to see each other, pay for tutoring, and be constantly tracked. I feel like I'm a deer trying to run from the hunter. And as the days go by I feel as though I'm slowly loosing my mind, I'm on complete lock down where the only things I can do are go to doctor's offices, work, school, and home. Its completely torturous, to the point where I've almost given up all hope completely and we almost broke up. But, through it all I know that even though the situation is difficult I will be twenty times as miserable if we weren't together. My mother has decided that I'm unfit to live life, because I love someone everything...