Another dull day, nothing stands out or even seems to catch my eye, as a girl whose always been fascinated by the world it couldn't appear more gray. The sky seems to have lost its blue and the gray clouds grow and just intensify the gloom. My whole life is filled with emptiness, utter emptiness, every breath I take just feels heavy and choking. I feel as though the air is thinning and soon I might loose consciousness of everything. And the saddest part is that I want it to happen I want to be so far into the darkness that I cannot feel anymore. All my life I've done my best to do everything I was expected to but, along the way I found someone, myself. I found myself, a girl who only wanted freedom and wanted explore every inch of the world. Now I stand a prisoner, cuffed in shackles that only bind me to my cruel punishment. I've learned the truth, it doesn't matter how much I do or how well my grades are it all doesn't matter- all that matters is what they want, who they want to mold me into. I attempt to resist, resist the sense of loosing myself entirely. Everywhere I go I'm told they're right but, that is all just lies. It's all lies disguised as the truth. I have fought all my life for freedom, for a chance to just live and breathe. So, now I stand here, a warrior fighting on the battlefield for my life, and slowly loosing myself in the process but know its worth fighting for. I have strived all my life to live up to all that I want to be and then find that all the world falls down around me and I am nearly crushed. Every moment of happiness that flourished once, seems to have disappeared and died as a weed. I write every word and cry out, only to be unheard and unnoticed. Its then I've realized I've already lost my voice and I've become part of the system the wheels slowly turning once again. I am a stranded solider on the battleground, who once stood tall and then found myself amongst the broken.
Well, its early on a Tuesday I came into work early due to the absence of my coworker so here I am. Its such a peaceful morning so far, I can hear the coffee maker from the kitchen and silence. Its a relatively nice feeling, rather than the phone constantly shrilling, demanding immediate attention. Even my mother hasn't gotten to work yet, which is simply bizarre considering her job is her life. So, I'm sitting at the front desk typing away on my laptop and making coffee for my mother. She just walked in wondering where I was for most of the time, which it actually took me a half an hour to drive to work and I stopped along the way at a recreation center, just sitting in the field. It was so peaceful, now the office is starting to get a bit fussy as most type furiously across their keyboards and the morning coffee is quickly taken as, a crutch, for most tired employees. Some have not even stepped foot in the office, but rather chose an extra hour of sleep. Its going to be a lon...
Comments
Post a Comment