Shackles of Our Love

So, today on my mind is how much I feel neglected. I feel as though my love forgot all about me. It's always not now, I'm busy, or I'm tired. It doesn't feel like it use to anymore. It makes me wonder if our love is still genuine. Is it still what it once was? Is it just because he's "busy" or am I simply being a fool by staying around waiting for it to change. I wake up today and realize I'm not the same girl I was yesterday, I wasn't the same girl I once was. I've loved, I've lost. I've done the unthinkable and rose up once again. I've been a teenager who yearned to hold onto her childhood, now I'm an adult thrust into the world which has filled me with emptiness and despair. I've held onto my love for him but is it time to let it go, leave it to the wind? This question keeps me up at night and makes me wonder if it should be left to the darkness of those nights long forgotten. As I watch the rain fall through my window pane it makes me think every drop of rain is another tear the runs down my face. When will you realize that all I ever wanted was your love? You're affection is the only thing that I'm after but since it seems long gone, what am I to do? How can I tell you every hug, every kiss causes me pain? How every moment I hear your voice I just want to cry out to the sky that you're gone. You might be sleeping next to me but, you couldn't be any farther away. The words you tell me always burn in my mind, "I'm busy" too busy to give me one call? To busy to remember that I'm here waiting for you in the cold. I'm here standing in the rain calling you from a pay-phone only to hear your voicemail. Maybe it's better this way you being halfway across my world, our own "California King Bed". But somehow I know I'll always be around waiting for your touch even though it's all dragged through the sin and dirt. I'll be waiting for the miracle to arise in our love, waiting for it all to make sense once again but, there is nothing I can do now but fall victim to this love. Wish on every star that you could see how tormented I am, hiding behind this wall that you've put me behind, struggling in my chains that bind me to this way of love. My broken heart left for all to see. Do you feel what I feel too?

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Believe In Time

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