Believe In Time

Girls, I'm warning you be careful of what you say. I'm not trying to sound like your mother or something. But it's really true because the consequences hurt more than anything else. I just got mad at my mother (wind runner) and I started yelling at my boyfriend and he was so hurt. Here I show you what I wrote... Were not the same, guess I'm the one to blame. Whatever and don't try and give me that I love you shit because, really I have been fooled this whole time, and I ain't taking it. I already have enough garbage in my life without you. So tell me what the hell is going on, (his name). Yeah. I was a total bitch to him because, I was angry. Now after I sent him my like pity email he said "fine we'll stay together but don't do that to me again" So he basically hates me. But, I can't cry; I never could. I always felt that crying was a weakness. I just can't cry, unless it's really like the end. So really I have lea...

Don't you ever get a feeling, that you can't exactly explain? It's a feeling that you can't speak of because, it hurts too much? Like, sometimes you can't go outside because you can't handle seeing the world? That's how I'm feeling right now. I don't want to see anyone. I can't really explain, I've never felt like this before. I'm thinking about love, I mean don't you ever feel you never actually knew the meaning of the word? I want to say how I think I would want love to be like. I would want to be able to date someone but, be able to walk away and still feel like myself and not always have to be with that person to feel safe, and I would still want to act like friends romance doesn't always have to be all the time. Still be able to joke around with that person; still be able to do stupid things(like shove mud in their face or something) Still be able to feel the joys of being a kid and to be able to be independent. Have your ow...

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...

You know that feeling when you have this big secret and you can't tell anybody, but really the secret somehow hurts you inside. Well, that's exactly what I'm going throught. But, it's not a secret that somebody else told; it's a secret that is between my brain and my heart. My brain talks of leaving my bf because school is important but, my heart goes don't leave him, you love him. So it's really like what should I do? I mean it's hard enough dealing with the things I do, then having guys on top of it. Jeez, being a teenager is so confusing. While having God's shining on me, anyway. He believes in me even, when I don't in Him. It's still hard to know what's right and wrong because there is so much temptation in this world. Plus there is so many question to life we always wanted to answer. But, we can't for example.... What is love? You think you know the answer but really there is no answer. That's what we spend life doing looki...

Well it's about 10 in New York, so really I'm just relaxing. I mean my boyfriend is in Hawaii and my best friends are at camp. So really just decided to write a blog. Because my lack of blogs is increasing. So basically, I wanted to write to say how my life's going. Well, at this point weird because, my best friend just called me for the first time in 12 days out of nowhere and my boyfriend just said for the first time he loves me. Which Nia basically it's about time! Then I thought I heard her say "I've been telling him to since the day the two of you started going out." That's what I heard and I was like, "What?" and she basically hung up on me. Jeez relationships are like jobs. My, Dad was right. I mean relationships are amazing but, sometimes they are like a roller coaster that never ends. I've been doing the karaoke of 'Somewhere over the Rainbow.' I can't upload it but here's the url:http://www.youtube.com/user/Hawa...

I still cannot believe my Aunt wrote such beautiful words about me. It amazes me, because as I've gotten older I've realized she's become my guardian angel on earth. She is always there for me, to help me find God again or when I'm in anguish or suffering to help me believe in him with everything I have. So truly my Aunt is one of the people I don't deserve to have because she is way too amazing and always believes in God. While, I sometimes fall into doubts and can be cruel and mean; at the point where I begin to reject the Lord as if he were some personal slave of mine. God is the Creator he can do anything He wants. "I am not afraid of anything in creation. I know the Creator."(quoted by Todd from the Christ Miller series) "Life is a gift that you can have; but can lose or never return." (quoted by me) As it is said to be true life is that special gift you have found under the Christmas tree. It is that cool breeze in the hot and humid weather...

Wow. I haven't written in so long. I was walking through staples lately and found this poem on one of the diary covers.It began to think about how similar that is to everyone's life the points when we suffer most in life the footprints are only one.Then as we begin to trust God more and more we see two pairs of footprints that's how we should be walking alongside with God. When we do we admire what we seemed to have missed. Then the earth beneath us begins to change sometimes we something beautiful then other times we see things that we wished we would have forgotten. GOD IS HERE!!!!! We can't forget that He is. God will be here to help us through the struggles in life. So we must never forget he is always going to help us. No matter what your going through the beautiful gift that God gave us was hope. To believe that things will be alright even if they don't see like it.