You know that feeling when you have this big secret and you can't tell anybody, but really the secret somehow hurts you inside. Well, that's exactly what I'm going throught. But, it's not a secret that somebody else told; it's a secret that is between my brain and my heart. My brain talks of leaving my bf because school is important but, my heart goes don't leave him, you love him. So it's really like what should I do? I mean it's hard enough dealing with the things I do, then having guys on top of it. Jeez, being a teenager is so confusing. While having God's shining on me, anyway. He believes in me even, when I don't in Him. It's still hard to know what's right and wrong because there is so much temptation in this world. Plus there is so many question to life we always wanted to answer. But, we can't for example.... What is love? You think you know the answer but really there is no answer. That's what we spend life doing looking for answers. But we don't what happens when we don't find the answers? What do you think?
First, off I just wanna say thanks for all the people who read and listen to the struggles in my life. Second, I'm in complete shock that this is my 100th post! So, thanks for being there for me for four years! Anyway, to get this post going, I wanna just write.... it probably won't make a lot of sense when I finish but it'll be different, to say the least. So, Kataya goes back to Ukraine on Saturday and at this point I am pretty upset that she's leaving, she's become a little sister to me, and her smile could light up the whole world. However, in a malicious and selfish way I am kind of happy because for the last month my mom was too busy with Kataya to really notice me, strange how you want your parents to ignore you and when they do you want them to talk to you? Also the directors of the orphanage came to stay with us and to say the least their not my favorite people, but the leave tomorrow for New York City and I finally get my room back! But, its going to t...
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