I feel so hopeless, so lost there's nothing I wanna do more than never move again. I can't so anything right can I? I feel like an imbecile who barely seems to get the basics. My SAT scores were impossibly horridious I can't even bare to stand my mother telling me that I have to go to community college, I wish I lived under a rock. I could hear the disappointment in her voice, that her only daughter is the biggest disappointment, well it wouldn't be the first time. I just can't do anything right, every time something happens in my life I end up making it all a complete disaster. I feel myself dying inside, I wish I could just run away. Run away from all the pain and the suffering and just forget about it. I'm already in love with a guy I can't have and forget about the Chemistry and Math regents this year they were impossible. So impossible I'll probably fail the eleventh grade. I just don't want to look in the mirror but, rather punch a hole through it and shatter it to pieces. There seems like there is nothing else left, I've worked my whole life to be above average, to be above the rest when really I've just been below everyone. I'm not good at anything, all I can do is write on a page a bunch of words that never will make sense.
Well, its early on a Tuesday I came into work early due to the absence of my coworker so here I am. Its such a peaceful morning so far, I can hear the coffee maker from the kitchen and silence. Its a relatively nice feeling, rather than the phone constantly shrilling, demanding immediate attention. Even my mother hasn't gotten to work yet, which is simply bizarre considering her job is her life. So, I'm sitting at the front desk typing away on my laptop and making coffee for my mother. She just walked in wondering where I was for most of the time, which it actually took me a half an hour to drive to work and I stopped along the way at a recreation center, just sitting in the field. It was so peaceful, now the office is starting to get a bit fussy as most type furiously across their keyboards and the morning coffee is quickly taken as, a crutch, for most tired employees. Some have not even stepped foot in the office, but rather chose an extra hour of sleep. Its going to be a lon...
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