Skip to main content

Forget About It

I feel so hopeless, so lost there's nothing I wanna do more than never move again. I can't so anything right can I? I feel like an imbecile who barely seems to get the basics. My SAT scores were impossibly horridious I can't even bare to stand my mother telling me that I have to go to community college, I wish I lived under a rock. I could hear the disappointment in her voice, that her only daughter is the biggest disappointment, well it wouldn't be the first time. I just can't do anything right, every time something happens in my life I end up making it all a complete disaster. I feel myself dying inside, I wish I could just run away. Run away from all the pain and the suffering and just forget about it. I'm already in love with a guy I can't have and forget about the Chemistry and Math regents this year they were impossible. So impossible I'll probably fail the eleventh grade. I just don't want to look in the mirror but, rather punch a hole through it and shatter it to pieces. There seems like there is nothing else left, I've worked my whole life to be above average, to be above the rest when really I've just been below everyone. I'm not good at anything, all I can do is write on a page a bunch of words that never will make sense.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...
Post a Comment
Read more

Love

The last week has been crazy busy , I have been in tutoring all week . Some spring break. All I can think of is love. Love makes people do some pretty crazy things. I wish there was a tracker to find true love because today it's harder and harder to find. If I could ever describe love I would say it is the most exhilarating feeling of all. The first time you look at them you know it's meant to be, that moment when your eyes meet and you know you wouldn't trade that feeling for anything else in the world. Love should be when you look at that person it feels like the first time you kissed, the first time you fell in love. I am a good matchmaker however have yet to find love myself. For now I'm stuck reading romantic books and watching the 'Notebook' fifty thousand times. Being in love is amazing and I haven't been in love yet so I can exactly explain it! My aunt was right infatuation has been in my life, leaving me with good and bad memories. However when I ...
2 comments
Read more

Accepted

College. The words that determine the rest of your life. The words that run across your mind once you graduate high school. The words that make you think of parties and four more years of exams. However, this is the chance when you get to choose how you spend your days, what you learn right? At least that's the look I see on many freshman when they come to college, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed jumping at the opportunity to take a reign on their lives or you have those who are excited for the four years of partying that comes ahead, and finally you have those students who come in trailing behind their parent waiting for the tour to be over usually listening to music. These three type of students however, all fall into the same muddling and confusing first year of college, where all three take the same meaningless courses and after the year is over worry about what is next. This is the point where the education system comes in and molds you. In college, the choice is everything. ...
Post a Comment
Read more