I feel so hopeless, so lost there's nothing I wanna do more than never move again. I can't so anything right can I? I feel like an imbecile who barely seems to get the basics. My SAT scores were impossibly horridious I can't even bare to stand my mother telling me that I have to go to community college, I wish I lived under a rock. I could hear the disappointment in her voice, that her only daughter is the biggest disappointment, well it wouldn't be the first time. I just can't do anything right, every time something happens in my life I end up making it all a complete disaster. I feel myself dying inside, I wish I could just run away. Run away from all the pain and the suffering and just forget about it. I'm already in love with a guy I can't have and forget about the Chemistry and Math regents this year they were impossible. So impossible I'll probably fail the eleventh grade. I just don't want to look in the mirror but, rather punch a hole through it and shatter it to pieces. There seems like there is nothing else left, I've worked my whole life to be above average, to be above the rest when really I've just been below everyone. I'm not good at anything, all I can do is write on a page a bunch of words that never will make sense.
Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...
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