Skip to main content

Unfabulous


I haven't been on in days now, probably because I'm caught up in my own drama. Simply because I'm a teenager and drama is all a part of that experience of being young. The word "unfabulous" describes my life perfectly, because today everyone stared at me because I was carrying my monster of a backpack on my back and since it has a hiking backpack the ties that go around the waist kept hitting the sides of the bus, not to mention I was carrying a bag filled with books and my pack it. So, that definitely got some stares. I feel like high school is just pure embarrassment, crazy amounts of work, and a desperation to be someone you're not. My junior year sometimes feels like the worst thing that has ever happened to me, because now that I'm a junior everything slowly starts slipping away, out from underneath. Whenever you think to yourself there is so little time to waste, because were close to the falling curtain of the play, you wonder whether everything in high school was truly just a dream. I wonder to myself, if my friends now will stand by me forever or if that's what I'm driven to believe. Somehow, I feel like all the friendships I have will quickly evaporate once high school is over, hopefully I'll be able to see the world before I'm gone. Lately, I've been with my ex boyfriend more and more, Luke (as I've probably mentioned in the previous posts) and honestly even on this blog I can't really say what's been happening, cauz my mom has found this place. But, we've been together for hours and hours at a time, sometimes just talking about the world other times just for the company. My two friends Monica and Rainey, are in the dark about what has been going on and as bad as it is, I want to keep this from them. Because Rainey, I know is trying to understand what to say, but she just is starting to grow distant, so I keep off the topic. Monica, just doesn't care so instead of telling them two I tell one of my quietest friends, Hira. She rocks! I can tell her anything no judging, or questions I feel like she's allowing me to make my own decisions. My friends have always tried to influence me because, I'm completely wreakless, however Hira is the complete opposite she lets me make my choices so eventually I learn from them.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...
Post a Comment
Read more

Accepted

College. The words that determine the rest of your life. The words that run across your mind once you graduate high school. The words that make you think of parties and four more years of exams. However, this is the chance when you get to choose how you spend your days, what you learn right? At least that's the look I see on many freshman when they come to college, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed jumping at the opportunity to take a reign on their lives or you have those who are excited for the four years of partying that comes ahead, and finally you have those students who come in trailing behind their parent waiting for the tour to be over usually listening to music. These three type of students however, all fall into the same muddling and confusing first year of college, where all three take the same meaningless courses and after the year is over worry about what is next. This is the point where the education system comes in and molds you. In college, the choice is everything. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Freedom-less

Dreaming of Freedom      Well, here I am in physics class wanting to do nothing more than write, type all the thoughts that flow through my spirit and spill them on to these pages. Reveal all the secrets that I keep hidden in my heart. Well, my mother discovered that Tyler and I made love and is punishing me because of it. Forcing us to be unable to see each other, pay for tutoring, and be constantly tracked. I feel like I'm a deer trying to run from the hunter. And as the days go by I feel as though I'm slowly loosing my mind, I'm on complete lock down where the only things I can do are go to doctor's offices, work, school, and home. Its completely torturous, to the point where I've almost given up all hope completely and we almost broke up. But, through it all I know that even though the situation is difficult I will be twenty times as miserable if we weren't together. My mother has decided that I'm unfit to live life, because I love someone everything...
Post a Comment
Read more