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My Deep Cut


I know I haven't written in a while but, trust me with the days I'm having I don't think its unusual. So, Jose decided to push me out of his life and I'm still trying to figure out why, guess it will always be a mystery but, the things he said stung, like a knife cutting through me and dang they cut deep. "Thank god I don't have to deal with a walking waste of time such as yourself so much a weight was lifted off my back no please bitch go to your special spot in the corner and cry for all I care and you damn well know who you are." If that doesn't cut deep I don't know what does, just looking at that made it hard to sleep. And the strange part is, that I don't even understand why he said it! Honestly, this whole time I just wanted to be everyones friend, I didn't want to start drama, story of my life. Its like watching the world crumble, and to be honest I did cry, because I lost someone who I believed I could trust, and its the most shocking of all. It caused an empty hollow feeling to build up inside of me. But, it puts it in perspective for me, who the people that are going to be there forever and those, that were never there to begin with. I haveto be honest I'm completely unfeeling at this point, I have nothing to really say about it. I think the true strength comes from being able to endure the pain, and I'm not going to blast things about him all over the internet because, that's not who I am at all. I don't believe in writing stuff like that, all I do is write the truth. But, if I can say one thing now, I'm going to confess here: all I wanted was for there to be no drama at all and I just wanted to be a friend to someone else and see a smile light up their face. But, I've been drowned by those words, but, its not going to stop me from leading my life. They never said life would be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it, and I believe that. Life goes on, I know it does, I've gone on for years with hatred because I am me, this is just a bump in the road of life. I can't write anymore, when I can I shall but right now I feel sick to my stomach.

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