Peace, Love, World... then there's me

Another day, tomorrow marks the summer as half over however, I still find myself bored by the lack of excitement. It feels as though I've been transported into the world of an adult yet, I'm not ready for it. It all seems too fast and confusing as though the world is simply content to move on and drag me along with them. These days almost everything I do is independent, my friends have been rather silent, we've all been sinking into the world of uncomfortable silence. Where there is no "how was your day?" but, rather nothing at all. Now, all you can find me doing is sitting at my desk curled up with a book on philosophy or so on. Its turning out to be the complete opposite of what I was hoping for, and now the road to a future career is becoming more and more unsure. It feels as though as time ticks down to graduation I become more and more uncertain of what I want to do with my life. The path that once seemed so clear is becoming more uncertain as the days pass by. I want to be a doctor but I also want to be a teacher, however its as though the whole world is questioning my choices. I got accepted into college early and everyone says they "support" me but, then they start to ask me if I'm sure if I want to do it and I'm like yes! That's like asking me if I want to be a writer, there is no question in it. Kataya left last Saturday and all of us starting crying in the airport I admit I am sad that she left, in the time she spent here she truly became much like a younger sister to me. My mom came home today and she's hardly noticed me at all, its as if I'm not even there. The lonely life of a writer, they only realize your there when you do something wrong. Its as if I don't exist, sometimes I feel like I'm an empty chair. But, then when I let myself believe I think I can change the world.

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Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...

Bound With Invisible Chains

Well, its early on a Tuesday I came into work early due to the absence of my coworker so here I am. Its such a peaceful morning so far, I can hear the coffee maker from the kitchen and silence. Its a relatively nice feeling, rather than the phone constantly shrilling, demanding immediate attention. Even my mother hasn't gotten to work yet, which is simply bizarre considering her job is her life. So, I'm sitting at the front desk typing away on my laptop and making coffee for my mother. She just walked in wondering where I was for most of the time, which it actually took me a half an hour to drive to work and I stopped along the way at a recreation center, just sitting in the field. It was so peaceful, now the office is starting to get a bit fussy as most type furiously across their keyboards and the morning coffee is quickly taken as, a crutch, for most tired employees. Some have not even stepped foot in the office, but rather chose an extra hour of sleep. Its going to be a lon...

My 100th post!

First, off I just wanna say thanks for all the people who read and listen to the struggles in my life. Second, I'm in complete shock that this is my 100th post! So, thanks for being there for me for four years! Anyway, to get this post going, I wanna just write.... it probably won't make a lot of sense when I finish but it'll be different, to say the least. So, Kataya goes back to Ukraine on Saturday and at this point I am pretty upset that she's leaving, she's become a little sister to me, and her smile could light up the whole world. However, in a malicious and selfish way I am kind of happy because for the last month my mom was too busy with Kataya to really notice me, strange how you want your parents to ignore you and when they do you want them to talk to you? Also the directors of the orphanage came to stay with us and to say the least their not my favorite people, but the leave tomorrow for New York City and I finally get my room back! But, its going to t...

Believe In Time

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