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Peace, Love, World... then there's me


Another day, tomorrow marks the summer as half over however, I still find myself bored by the lack of excitement. It feels as though I've been transported into the world of an adult yet, I'm not ready for it. It all seems too fast and confusing as though the world is simply content to move on and drag me along with them. These days almost everything I do is independent, my friends have been rather silent, we've all been sinking into the world of uncomfortable silence. Where there is no "how was your day?" but, rather nothing at all. Now, all you can find me doing is sitting at my desk curled up with a book on philosophy or so on. Its turning out to be the complete opposite of what I was hoping for, and now the road to a future career is becoming more and more unsure. It feels as though as time ticks down to graduation I become more and more uncertain of what I want to do with my life. The path that once seemed so clear is becoming more uncertain as the days pass by. I want to be a doctor but I also want to be a teacher, however its as though the whole world is questioning my choices. I got accepted into college early and everyone says they "support" me but, then they start to ask me if I'm sure if I want to do it and I'm like yes! That's like asking me if I want to be a writer, there is no question in it. Kataya left last Saturday and all of us starting crying in the airport I admit I am sad that she left, in the time she spent here she truly became much like a younger sister to me. My mom came home today and she's hardly noticed me at all, its as if I'm not even there. The lonely life of a writer, they only realize your there when you do something wrong. Its as if I don't exist, sometimes I feel like I'm an empty chair. But, then when I let myself believe I think I can change the world.

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