Believe In Time

The second year is well into gear however, I find myself wondering how people find enjoyment in college because to be truthful this college lacks so much yet, I find myself attached to it. But, last night definitely hit me hard my best friend of 3 years told me she doesn't want to be my friend anymore calling me selfish claiming that I was holding her back and didn't want her to make new friends, and explained to me that she didn't want to be my friend since sophomore year which definitely hit deep. I'm sitting there wondering to myself, if you had an issue with me why didn't you just tell me? And as far as not wanting her to make other friends I have to disagree, I wanted to protect her from the people who made fun of her and talked badly about her behind her back those "friends" I wanted to protect her from, yes. But, I'm forced to look at the question why am I not more upset? When she told me that I was not upset as I expected to be, I just told

So, the story of my life lately is not a very happy one. I'm in college now, a year earlier, I know I should be happy to be accepted. But, the truth is I couldn't be more miserable I've started to realize that home truly is where the heart is. I left school only to find that I miss it, I miss the pointless drama and the people who surrounded me, I miss the people who have broke down my wall. I've found college to be nothing but empty time and energy, unknown faces and hollow spaces. Right now the rain is pouring down onto the pavements it feels like the tears that run down my cheeks. Phone calls, skype, letters it doesn't make the difference any less. Its still another run down a path except your all alone. College can be filled with thousands of people but, the only difference is that everyone's following their own path, another world of their own. I wish a smiling face would cross my path rather than the twisters that surrond it, its as if I accidenta