Believe In Time

     Well another day, another new post. Its actually a brighter day, as the sun attempts to peek through the clouds. Forty-eight days to go, then I will finally taste freedom once again, the very word excites the tip of my tongue. This week will go by fairly quickly, I have two tests coming up: American government and Precalculus. Boring. But, the calculus test has kept me awake at night because the test is twenty percent of my grade, that's enough to make me faint. Today we had an english paper due, which I attempted to do thoroughly (and ended up hurting my eyes in the process). But, hopefully after this week I'll be able to catch up on sleep knowing that the stress of the week is over. Only to start it all again the next week. I can't even tell you how horrible it is to be home all the time with nothing to do except homework and watch the re-runs on television. I'm becoming bored with my own life, I just hope that I can convince my mother to un-ground me by spring

    Another dull day, nothing stands out or even seems to catch my eye, as a girl whose always been fascinated by the world it couldn't appear more gray. The sky seems to have lost its blue and the gray clouds grow and just intensify the gloom. My whole life is filled with emptiness, utter emptiness, every breath I take just feels heavy and choking. I feel as though the air is thinning and soon I might loose consciousness of everything. And the saddest part is that I want it to happen I want to be so far into the darkness that I cannot feel anymore. All my life I've done my best to do everything I was expected to but, along the way I found someone, myself. I found myself, a girl who only wanted freedom and wanted explore every inch of the world. Now I stand a prisoner, cuffed in shackles that only bind me to my cruel punishment. I've learned the truth, it doesn't matter how much I do or how well my grades are it all doesn't matter- all that matters is what they wa

Dreaming of Freedom      Well, here I am in physics class wanting to do nothing more than write, type all the thoughts that flow through my spirit and spill them on to these pages. Reveal all the secrets that I keep hidden in my heart. Well, my mother discovered that Tyler and I made love and is punishing me because of it. Forcing us to be unable to see each other, pay for tutoring, and be constantly tracked. I feel like I'm a deer trying to run from the hunter. And as the days go by I feel as though I'm slowly loosing my mind, I'm on complete lock down where the only things I can do are go to doctor's offices, work, school, and home. Its completely torturous, to the point where I've almost given up all hope completely and we almost broke up. But, through it all I know that even though the situation is difficult I will be twenty times as miserable if we weren't together. My mother has decided that I'm unfit to live life, because I love someone everything