Believe In Time

It's true I mean I have a great guy friend who I am in love with I don't exactly how it happened but it did and even though he tells me he doesn't like me in that way I can't accept it, I've never tried this hard in my life; I've always moved on before it could hurt. However we stayed really good friends despite my crush now I wonder to myself what have I done? I mean he knows it isn't my fault I like him however, I can tell that every time it comes up it kills him. I mean he just broke up with his girlfriend in California so I could understand why he doesn't wanna talk to me or even want to be near me however, what I don't understand is this... a few days ago we had a fight this is what happened (what he said is in blue what I said is in red) "i have something 2 ask u somethin important" "wut" "do u hate me u like always seem pissed @ me" "Im not pissed at all u just kinda come on me alot like u txt me everyd...

I wonder to myself in this life is it really us?We all have our ups and downs in life will it ever pause. I want to breathe a moment of peace in my life one second to pull back and say wow have I been that blind? People are surprised to see what they are in others eyes when you think you are alone you're far from it. I'm a very fragile even though people can't believe it I have too many sides that can confuse anyone I can be so many different people like I'm faucets of glass on a diamond. But at least when I look in the mirror I can see myself I may be sad but at least I can believe I have the support of people that love me. People sometimes as well need to breathe and take their own time to heal, people are here to be our guides but, sometimes it hurts to see the damage it can have on our life. But we don't have to hide because our 'truest friends' are right in front of us and will always try to protect us from the fall. But I know I've been blesse...

This week has been awful everyone keeps breaking me down everything in my life goes wrong. I can't do anything right I've been banged up right and left and I have lost the battle. Trying to pretend everything is okay in my life when my heart is cut open and smashed to pieces. I am not doing well in science at all I mean I'm trying so hard not break down but I do a repeating failure everything hasn't been going well for me. I mean I'm in love with one of my guy friends like it's bad because I just can't get over him and my best friend just hasn't been able to talk to me and now I grow cold because of all this stress I feel hopelessly trapped and if my life isn't traumatic enough my mother is suing my dad for failure to pay the child support and now I wonder why can't I be a normal teenager no I have to be special as well. Also what made this weekend just great is that my best friend gave me a total panic attack because she could become just like...

Well here stands 2010 in front of us but, what now? The choices now will influence us forever, now I'm thinking what my uncle said to me that I have the talent but I'm not making it to its full use, however the obstacles in life can change your life forever. Today I read this poem "I'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong. Talk like everything's perfect, Act like it's all a dream, And pretend it's not hurting me." Think of all those who have no hope all those caught in the problems this world gives but, some take the wrong path in the opposite direction sometimes we can't decide one get's lucky one falls into the opposite. We want so much to help them but, we have to learn we can't. People always want to make the lives of others easier but, we have to learn to let people fall even when we hate to see it happen. The two paths teach us that in that time we learn jealousy, anger, kindness, love. We learn jealous is of every...

Don't you ever get that feeling that you know you've done something wrong but, still do it anyway in hope the situation will fix itself? I know that feeling all too well, I mean on my last birthday my neighbor who I had a crush since I was a kid kissed me, and you know I got a little light headed then the next day he suddenly hates me. He basically played me and I fell for it, I was the stupid little girl hoping love would be real how, stupid could I get? My whole life is falling apart I mean, my own dad didn't even come to my confirmation and now my -ex and I are talking again! I mean my life is so messed up I wish sometimes the world would just stop and I could bleed everything in my life that hurt me. I mean I have Joe, my neighbor, my -ex, PJ, even my Dad. I feel like everyone I meet will leave some huge whole in my heart when will I ever have someone to heal my bleeding heart? I need to cry everything that has been locked up and let it drip. Jesus said, "Come ...

I know I haven't had much time to write but, now I wonder to myself how many people really feel alone?How many are in desperate need of help?How many are homeless and on the streets? Most people including me at points say "Oh. That's too bad." well I'm done with it. Imagine if it was you out on the streets and no one cared. Everyone just walked past you like dirt. I may live no better but, I am proud to say I'm not living on the streets. Don't you ever wish your mom would understand or your friends? But, it's not something you could say to them it's something you have to suffer all alone. I wish I wasn't one of those people. To top it all off I have my Conformation in 2 weeks and this is really about everyone else not me! It's just how everyone else feels or how fancy the wine is. Do you people realize that's not all that matters you might call me crazy but, being confirmed isn't about gifts or money it's about being...

Well today my day offically stunk. I mean I got detention tommorrow for no reason completley unjust, however there unfourtuntley is no options left goodbye Princeton. Hello RCC. Well in any event my good friend Nia and I are no longer I am getting so tierd of her attitudue toward me. I mean I thought she was my best friend and now I realize I was the one who was fooled. I mean as if I was stuck in a monopoly. I don't know what this means for this class (the one I got detention in) I just wish she would have understood our reasoning because I'm a good student. Ugghh, I know this is going to stay in the back of her mind every time she looks at me now. I'm never going to want to answer a question in her class ever again. Like ever! I mean my head will be so low it will be down to the floor! When I told my mother she basically told me she doesn't have time for it. Well of course she doesn't it's not her problem. Also sometimes I just secretly wish to myself that ...