Skip to main content

The Winds of Change


So, my blog finally was updated! Yay! I have to admit I was a little hesitant to change the design but, I did its time for a change. My office this morning is completely dull, nothing has been happening so its nice because I do get more time to relax and just be myself so at least that's good. Plus, to make matters better, this morning I woke up completely rested and ready to face the day. It was such a good morning even though as soon as I came downstairs it was hectic, I felt happy. I've decided that its time for a change, when I wrote yesterday I was sad and depressed but, today is much better I realized that I have so many good people around me; they care for me and believe in me and have been there through it all. So, it struck me why am I wasting my time on people who didn't matter, who only punished me for being myself? It might take a while for me to get over him, but you know what? Who cares. If he couldn't see how amazing and different I was then that's his loss, not mine. I know, I may not be the simplest person alive nor the most complex but, I have issues and that's just a part of life there is no way around that. So, all we have to do is overcome them, it sounds easier than it is but, it is possible. There are so many people in the world not everyone is going to like you, that you can't control but, you can control how you react to it. How you deal, with your issues, this whole experience has given me some new light, that things like this happen and they truly shed light on who your real friends are and who will just be in your life for a short period of time. Honestly, I don't regret Jose at all but, rather feel that it helped me grow as not only a person but, in experience. It also puts into perspective the people that surrond me love me and care about me, and there is nothing else that can compare to that. There will be so many people that will try to knock me down, but I have to have the power to stand up and face it; because if I never stand again that is my fault. Life is full of challenges and hardships, times that will knock you off your feet and will make you rethink your choices and decisions but, if it wasn't for those times the good times would seem less important, and less eccentric than anything else. So, I'm going to follow the advice before me, I need to live like I'm dying, because if we forget that than the life we dreamed of will cease to exist. Here is a poem that my coworker shared with me and I have to admit, that this puts things with Jose in an interesting twist.

I walk down the street
There is a hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I'm lost. . . I'm helpless
It isn't my fault
It takes me forever to find a way out

I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it
I fall in again
I can't believe I'm in the same place
But it isn't my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it there
I still fall in. . . it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

I walk down the same street
There's a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

I walk down another street

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wind Runner

Well, I'm up to about 3 posts in one day. I ran away a little while ago. But, I came back like I always do. Because, wherever I go they will find me and bring me back to where I started right here (in my house) I'll be writing most of the night anyway. It's about midnight here in NY. So, yup. Well, this is how the whole running away thing got started. I had been merely on the computer watching 'Picture This' on youtube. A simple evening for me, but then I hear my step-dad (ok, ewww I cannot say that word he should never have the word 'dad' in that title or whatever. I never liked him and never will. So I'll call him Mr. X.) Mr. X had called me over to the computer to sign into my itunes account because they had gotten a bill saying that itunes was used up to 60 dollars. Anyway, how that had actually happened was an accident, you see I had a graduation party for graduating middle school. So I had wanted an itunes card and, I would pay Mr. X back. So I ma...

Need you Now

"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me it happens all the time." How true this statement is, I need help because I've lost my way, I need to find it again. It's finals soon so I'm freaking out, I can't believe how many blogs it's been since I started high school, crazy. I've been overly stressed out lately with dance recitals to simple things. I wish I knew the answers to life, with Walter everything has been confusing I simply today didn't even have the courage to say anything to him, because what could I say? The words have run slim, what will happens to life after you? He wouldn't even know it he's taught me to be strong because I am weak but, he's taught me so many things I use to copy him but I've learned to be myself no matter how crazy. If I could say the words that've ran across my mind, I would walk up to him and ask him to just listen and her are my words "Walter I can't say how much I...

God Hear Us

Wow it has seriously been forever since I have been on my blog. I've been so wrapped up in relationship issuses and school I've barely had enough time to breathe. Lately I have been the biggest player in the world because of the influences around me and I've fell to them, sadly. My life is in a constant spiral I finally see my overly perfect cousins beautiful and smart. Hard to not lose confidence, right? However the constant thoughts remain in my mind love is hard and dangerous becasue of the truth that lies between words the unspoken it all seems so close yet so far. Everything in a flux. Who am I to say life is hard when I have a roof, food, water, and dear faimly who love me why does the concept seem so forigen? To believe anyone cares is the most hardest concept to believe, because love is a different philosphy in itself, different idea, a different world. If you ever truly think about it you'll never know what it is exactly because once you feel the idea there is ...